I'm MISERABLE!
For the last three years I've slowly been gaining weight...and before I knew it I had gained 30 pounds. I'm not the best dieter, but I've been wanting to start getting rid of some of it. And every time I want to start a new diet plan, it never lasts for more than a few days. Today was supposed to be a fresh start, but I did horrible! I can't refrain from yummy treats. :(
But tomorrow, I'm seriously starting. I will try and do workout videos, eat as healthily as possible, and do everything I can to get to my goal by the end of February. It's time to stop making excuses and giving in to temptation. I have everything I need to succeed, I just need the willpower to stay on track!
Today was a fairly decent Monday. Work is always long and tiresome, but I can't really complain. I always dream about not having to work so much, but in reality I think I'd get bored. If I ever don't have to work, I'd want it to be when I have kids so I have something to occupy my time. Not to say that the thought of being able to do WHATEVER I want any given day of the week doesn't sound appealing, but there's only so many hours you can spend on the couch before the boredom kicks in. Right now I'm happy to spend time in front of the TV as I'm catching up on Gossip Girl episodes, but even then I'm already on the current season with only a few more to go! Once I run out of those, I'm not sure what I'm going to do in my spare time...maybe start a new show. ;)
Tomorrow should be easy at work. It's a pretty slow schedule...should give me time to catch up on my ever-growing to-do list. And I'm really looking forward to this weekend! Not just because I'll have some time off, but because Derek has an interview with Citi Group for a possible new job. He's been so stressed and unhappy at work, and I know he wants to get out of Subway. This would be such a great thing for our relationship--better hours, better pay, and we'd be able to spend more time together and actually cook together, go to sleep together, and wake up together. I swear, it feels like we live on different planets sometimes. It's not that we're bored with each other, we just don't get as much time alone as we should.
(just got off the phone with him.)
So he called me right now, saying that his friend Derek (same name, same spelling :p) says that he owes him a casino night because he blew him off for his birthday weekend. My Derek has a problem with casinos. His father was addicted to gambling, and that was a huge reason his parents didn't work out. It's not that he goes on binges and spends his entire paycheck while he's out...but something about the casino and the tables just sucks him in. I worry that without a lot of supervision it could become a serious problem. He was saying he feels like he has to make it up to his friend, but I know that he really enjoys going and it just makes me nervous. I made the mistake of throwing his 21st birthday party at the casino, and ever since then he seems to go at least a couple times a month, often with money we can't afford to lose. And often, he DOES end up winning money...but there have been times he hasn't. I don't want him to think he always has to go out when his friends are giving him a hard time for it, but at the same time I feel like the more I try and restrict it, the more the casino will pull him in -- almost like it's a forbidden utopia of pleasures and bright prospects. He had to cut our phone call short, as he was at work and had to see some customers, but he did say he would call me back. I hope he sees that he can still hang out with his friends, and that he shouldn't be afraid to turn down going out to casinos on weeknights with money he shouldn't be spending. We will see /:
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